He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
