I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
