When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
