Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
