The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
