Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
