is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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