Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
