I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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