By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
