Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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