playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
