Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
