Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm passing your future prison.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
