Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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