yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
