My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
