i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
