She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
