I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
