Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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