is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
