Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
