Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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