I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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