well I can't set my house on fire every night
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So vagazzling was a success
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
