I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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