small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
