i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
