well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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