SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
