Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
