i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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