I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
