I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
