So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woke up backwards on a recliner
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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