so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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