You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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