Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
