My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
