Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
