she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
