My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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