I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
