my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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