I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
