were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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