member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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