I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
