That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
