"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
