Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
