Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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