Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
