He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
